This past weekend I attended the wedding of my brother-in-law and I got to visit with Sarah, his and the hubs' cousin: someone that over the years I've gotten to know pretty well and would even go so far as to call her a friend (not just one of those people I have to make nice with while at family gatherings). We both have two beautiful blond boys, with our respective spouses, and having the growing pains that go along with watching our respective spawn grow in common is certainly one of the reasons we've become close.
While at the reception she came up to me and said, "Cassie, there are three things I remember about your and Michael's wedding" (almost seven years ago). "#1: You told me I was gorgeous, and no other woman has ever told me that. It put me on Cloud 9; it made me feel so good!" #2 & #3 aren't really pertinent to this post, and somewhat personal so I won't go into them...none ya!
And as most weddings are one expensive blur (at least if you're doing them right), I have no recollection of telling Sarah she was gorgeous, or really even speaking to her for that matter...
But, clearly such a small gesture made during a haze of alcohol and random people giving me a hug (oh the uncomfortableness!) and telling me "Congrats" or "You look so beautiful" (I really wanted to ask the majority of them if they'd ever tell a bride she was not beautiful - I'm aware you "have" to say that, but really you don't...I'm sexy and I know it!) made a lasting impression on her.
For those of you that know me, know I'm pretty much straightforward, not too "girly"; some have even gone so far as to say that I should have been a dude (thanks Dad!). Ya, I don't hand out too many compliments, because well if you're doing something right or well, that's how you should be doing it (don't ever attach your name to something unless you're proud of it!)...if you're wearing a cute outfit, well, you need to be dressing how you want people to see you (classy of course!). I know this about myself, is it a flaw? Hmm, maybe to those sensitive types, I don't know... poTAYto, poTAHto...I am who I am, and I try not to make too many excuses for it. But at the same time, I do get a "lift" myself when I get complimented for dawning a cute pair of shoes or outfit, or a job well done...ahh, finally to point of the post ...
Some have told me that when they do receive one of my rare compliments, they know it's completely sincere because the compliments are just that... so rare: I don't divvy them out to everyone for every little thing...
Sarah's comments got me to thinking, should I start making a better effort to actually articulate my thoughts when I do see someone wearing a cute pair of shoes or a doing a certain task well? Would it really make that big of difference? It did to Sarah. Or should I keep my compliments uncommon and reserve them for those EXTRA SPECIAL circumstances?
No comments:
Post a Comment